This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I pour the whiskey from now on
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
