there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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