she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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