it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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