My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
