I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
