She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
