Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
