Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
