My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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