the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He better not be in your backpack
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
