The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
