I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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