Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize