just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
