just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
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