Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
