I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
smell my finger.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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