what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize