i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize