That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
