I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
