We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
