I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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