just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
