New low: just hacked my moms facebook
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
