the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
