is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I wish I only lived at night.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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