how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
