Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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