Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize
