You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
