I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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