At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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