He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
