he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
