just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
