You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
