This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
