We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
