Swine flu. Run for my life!
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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