Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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