I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
