I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
home. puking in laundry basket.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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