cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
