In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
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