There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize
