I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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