Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
