FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
