i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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