i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
