I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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