I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im holly from the hills drunk
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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